As my followers know, I am quite sure these Vatican grand poobahs are actually a priesthood of astrologers, as they understand that the story of Jesus is just an elaborate astrological allegory – a kind of celestial mythology. How do I know? The proof is in the pudding, as they say, and this blog has plenty of examples.

It should come as no shock, then, that the selection of Cardinal Robert Prevost has some hefty ritual astrology going on – the kind that makes me wonder if all of this wasn’t choreographed beforehand. As you will see, there is so much going on with this transition that I put the question to other astrologers: how can these precision alignments be random chance?

I’m not a big fan of the slovenly MAGA psychopath Steve Bannon, but he did come out and say he thinks the whole Conclave was rigged to elect the “woke” and “dark horse” Cardinal Prevost. He’s a Catholic, apparently, and given his other fascistoid tendencies, he certainly has ulterior motives to besmirch the liberals in the Vatican.

Yours, Truly, on the other hand, has no such silly religious devotion. To me, it’s doesn’t matter if it was all rigged or not, because to me, all of religion is a fraud. The Catholics just do it with better costumes and pageantry, to keep us interested and bamboozled.

Back to the astrology: given that this new guy is from the Windy City, I say we think of it as a Chicago-style pizza pie, with all kinds of toppings, and even more stuff hidden inside. In fact, I think the Vatican outdid themselves with this one, so it’s going to take multiple blog entries to delineate it all.

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• astrology
• Exaltation of Mars
• geocentric nodes
• Pope Leo XIV
• Vatican